For Friends - Part 8

Chapter No.: 

1. Foreword
2. Ithar
3. Inclining towards those who make zulm
4. A touch of the Fire
5. Man-na and Jan-na
6. Uniforms
7. True muhabbat
8. Civility and courteousness.
9. Selflessness
10. Ihtimaam
11. Ahlullah
12. Covering Ankles
13. Eating with the right hand
14. Reciting bismillah when eating
15. Utensils
16. Give a finger
17. Gambling
18. Intoxicants
19. First, second and third grades
20. Husne khulq - good character
21. Hilm (Burdabari) and Zulm
22. Remorse and Taubah
23. A masalah concerning ithar
24. Adl and Fadhl
25. The creation and nature of Woman
26. Dunya in the guise of a woman
27. Intelligence (aql) and cleverness (hushyari)
28. Advice on getting married
29. Qissah concerning Hadhrat Umar Farouq Radhiyallahu Anhu
30. Two qissas concerning Imam Abu Hanifah (R.A;)
31. Summary and Dua

Through the fadhl of Allah Taala, and the barkat of our sheikh (R.A.), this eighth booklet is now ready.

Our Deen has five categories, namely:

l. Aqaid - Beliefs,
2. Ibadat - Worship,
3. Muamulat - Dealings,
4. Akhlaq - Quality of ones character, and
5. Muasharat - Social etiquettes and lifestyle.

In the kitabs Hayatul-Muslimeen and Aadabul-Muasharat Hadhrat Thanvi (R.A.) has adequately shown the importance of all these five categories in the life of everybody who is Muslim.

The sheikh, in his capacity as a guide to that person seeking closeness to Allah Taala, has, as his duty, the task of correcting the seeker in all these categories. Should the sheikh not correct the mureed, the sheikh is abusing the trust and responsibility placed on him. Alhamdulillah, Hadhratjee (R.A.) took special care to guide his mureeds in all aspects of the Deen. The affection and special concern shown by Hadhratjee (R.A.) can be seen in all his works and all his majalis.

In this majlis, although the emphasis is on muasharat, a wide variety of topics are discussed and explained in such a manner as to make us understand quite easily the points being driven home.

May Allah Taala give us all the taufeeq to practise on the teachings contained in these majalis. Aameen.

Dr. Ismaiel Mangera

(This is a translation of a majlis-e-khas held by Hadhrat Maulana Muhammed Maseehullah Khan saheb (R.A.) in Jalalabad, India, on the 30th of August 1989, corresponding to the 27th of Muharram 1410

What is ithar ? It is to take on oneself such takleef (trouble/ inconvenience), which is not beyond ones tolerance, in consideration of bringing rahat (ease and comfort) to others.

This is the taleem (teaching) in Islam.

Despite being Muslim, we Muslims have not understood Islam. What an amazing phenomenon!

Putting it differently: Despite being members of a household, we have not understood our home! Being members of a household, we have not recognised our home!

Islam is a house, a basic fort, belonging to the Muslims. Yet we have not recognised this.

Yes... We are Muslims. Well... Yes... Admittedly, we are Muslims...

Like wealth: A person possesses a mere hundred rupees. Yes, admittedly, it may be said that he possesses wealth. But, is he really wealthy, especially in present times?

I have heard with my own ears people, in spite of having one lakh rupees (100,000 rupees) saying, I consider myself to be poor! So what is a mere 100 rupees?

It was different in the past. We have passed through such an era, and seen an age, where people used to say of anyone in possession of a hundred rupees, in a tone of awe, That is a very rich person!

If somebody were to pick a quarrel with this person, others would quickly draw him to one side and reprimand him in subdued tones, Are you picking a quarrel with him? Dont you know that he is a very rich man? He has a hundred rupees!

Today, if anybody has one lakh rupees, it is considered insignificant.

Similarly with Muslims: Yes... Well... It may be said that they are Muslims. Even though most aspects of Islamic teachings are not to be found in them, and more un-Islamic features are found, even so, one concedes that they are Muslims. What type of Muslims...? Anyhow, they are still Muslims. Kindly note the tone of my voice in my making these remarks. Do you understand what I am trying to convey?

Another example:
If a person owns five or ten acres of land, technically he will be said to be owning land - he has land, whereas the next person may have nothing. But can he be called a landowner in the real sense of the word? Of course not! If he were to boast to be a landowner, he would merely be making a laughing stock of himself.

Similarly, Muslims are themselves making a laughing stock of Islam. It is not others who are making a laughing stock of the Muslims. The Muslims themselves are making Islam an object of mockery.

Should we tread firmly, and completely, along the path of Islam, with an even temperament (mustaqil mizaj), then nobody will have any occasion to mock or sneer.

We are the ones inviting others to mock and sneer.

Be as it may, we consider ourselves to be Muslims. Well and good. This is also of use. We will be forgiven on that basis. However, it is to be seen whether this forgiveness comes after being censured, or after being slapped, or after being given a whacking. Or - Allah Taala forbid! - being punished by the fire of Jahannam touching us, even though the full force of the fire does not envelop
As is stated in the Quran shareef, where the Mumins are being addressed:
(0 Muslims!) Do not incline towards those who have committed zulm (injustice/ oppression)
There are huffaz sitting here to bear me out as to the correctness of this ayet. Amongst you sitting here are also scholars, teachers and students - molvi-saheban, mudarraseen and tulaba.

(0 Muslims!) Do not incline towards those who have committed zulm (injustice/ oppression) - committed zulm to themselves by adopting shirk and kufr. Do not adopt their ways! Do not imitate them in matters of muamulat (transactions) and muasharat (social etiquettes and lifestyle).
As far as ibadat (worship) is concerned, Muslims do not imitate them: When a Muslim makes namaz, does he not make sajdah to Allah Taala? Obviously, a Muslim neither makes ruku nor sajdah to idols, or to pictures placed in front of him, or to hand-fashioned statuettes, etc.

So, 0 Muslims! Make sure that you neither incline towards nor adopt the habits, the muamulat and muasharat of the mushrikeen and kuffar. Be aware! It should not happen that the fire of Jahannam touches you, caresses you!*
The touch of that fire is very severe!

You may have noticed how, occasionally, cigarette smokers take a puff on their cigarettes, not realising that there is only a stub left, and burn their fingers. Immediately they wince, Uf! Uf! and drop the cigarette because of the pain they experience. This is the reaction to pain from the lighted end of a mere cigarette!

And what is the intensity of the fire of Jahannam? If one were to take the most intensely cold ice in this world, so many degrees below freezing, and use this ice to cool down the fire of Jahannam seventy times, then the resultant heat will equal the heat of the fire we have in this world! And what is the intensity of the fire in this world? Just a very slight contact is enough to cause severe burns.

It is in connection with this fire that Allah Taala states: 0 Muslims! Be alert! Be hushyar! Live with a sense of modesty, a sense of honour! Do not become objects of mockery! Do not make of yourselves playthings!

Just see how much affection Allah Taala is showing. See how Allah Taala is trying to explain to the Mumin, trying to make him understand.

If, even after all this, the Mumin refuses to accept, then the responsibility is entirely his!

Allah Taala tried to make Shaitan understand, but he had refused to understand. It was his pride that caused him to become arrogant. He started arguing, putting his own proofs in front of Allah Ta'ala. He had the audacity to attempt to prove that Allah Taalas hukum (command) was contrary to wisdom!

What was the final outcome? After being made to understand, he still refused to understand, we all know what became of Shaitan.

So, 0 Insan! 0 Muslim! Zate Bari Taala is trying time and again to make you understand, point out to you:
See here. You are Muslim. Do you understand? You have laid claim to Islam. In your heart you have accepted and have held the firm conviction of My existence, and the existence of various matters pertaining to the Unseen - which I have made known to you - such as the existence of Jannat, the Day of Qiyamat, of Hisab-kitab (Reckoning), of Resurrection after death, etc. The requirement of this conviction is, surely, that you should obey whatever command I give to you. Believing in Me entails these obligations, that whatever I tell you to do, you should do:
Whichever place I forbid you to sit, do not sit there.
Whichever place I tell you to sit, sit there.
Whatever work I forbid you to do, do not do it.
Whatever work I tell you to do, do it.
This is what is meant by the word believing (maan-na).
And, if the above is not the case, then we will term it knowing (jan-na), but definitely not believing!

The two are different. Jan-na (knowing) is one thing, whereas man-na (believing) is something else.

For example:
You will find non-Muslims stating, We do not reject the fact that Islam is a true religion.

However, this belief is held in such a way that Islam is not given precedence over other religions.

This is, therefore, knowing (jan-na), but it is definitely not believing (man-na)! So, of what use is that?

It is a different issue completely that we use the term Allah, and others use the term Bhagwan (God). However, they associate other things with that term. They behave towards the creation in a manner that should be entirely reserved for Allah Taala. They believe that others have a right to intercede for them, and that by their intercession their work will be done. In this way Allah Taala has been made a joint partner, having no choice but to accept the intercession of the others, irrespective of whether the plea is worthy of being accepted or not. Whereas all that Allah Taala does, He does through complete freedom and choice (not under compulsion from others). So, these people are associating other things in the attributes (sifat) of Allah Taala.
How can this be termed "believing (man-na)? It is merely knowing (jan-na). That is why Allah Taala time and again states:
"0 ye who believe in Me! Fear me!

Do not commit such acts which are contrary to belief in Me! Do not follow the ways of other nations. Your affairs and dealings should not be like theirs. Your habits should not be like theirs. Your apparel, your speech and conversation, your sitting and standing, your moving about and travelling, your gazing and looking, your homelife, your appearance, your styles and modes, should not be like theirs. You are Muslim!

What we are discussing is mushabahat - imitation.

What can one do? But at times, in order to make you understand, one has to make use of an English word. The word is uniform. All of you know what it means. It is the special style, mode or dress belonging to a specific group.

For example:
The police force forms one specific government department. The armed force also forms a specific department in the government. Now, are their respective outfits the same? The answer is no.

Take the different ranks within each group: Are the outfits exactly the same for everybody, or are there differences to distinguish one rank from another?

Obviously, there are differences.
The same will apply to the other forces - the navy, the air force, etc.

Take the rank of captain in each force. The uniform and insignia of the captain will differ from other ranks in the same force, as well as from the same rank in the 'other forces. The captain in each force will thereby be identified as a captain belonging to his specific force.

If the captain in the police force were to wear the uniform and insignia of a captain in the defence force, he will be guilty of having committed an offence.

If, 'in his defence, he were to state, I have not adopted the uniform of another country. The uniform I am wearing is, after all, that of the same government, will he be let off? Of course not! He will still be found guilty of having committed an offence.

These examples are being used to make the little ones understand. May Allah Taala make it that we can understand!

The issue is quite clear and simple.

If a captain in the police force were to don the uniform of a captain in the army, and he were to present himself to one of his superiors, the Inspector-General for example, the conversation would go something like this:

I-G: And who are you?
Capt: Sir! I am one of the captains serving under you.
(The whole countrys police force is under the Inspector-General.)
I-G: But the uniform you are wearing is that of an army captain. What is the meaning of this impudence?
(Understandably, he is not only upset, but offended as well.)
I-G: How do you expect me to recognise you? By your uniform I would have taken you to be a captain in the defence force. Yet you state that you are one of my captains in the police force!

The captain will be duly charged and suspended from duties. A hearing will take place as to why he wore the uniform of a captain in the army. If it is found that he had sufficient justification, he would be re-instated. If no justification is found, he will be dismissed from his office.

Do you get the point? Just for slightly changing his clothes, charges have been laid. For a while, even if this period is very short, he has been said to be an offender, and has been suspended from duties. Is this not an ignominy, a disgrace, a slur on his character? His subsequent dismissal is another matter.

So, for this short while, is it not a situation of Fatamassukumunnaar - the Fire touching him? By committing an offence, and being an offender, is he not facing the possibility of dismissal?
This is why these matters have to be explained.
Now do you understand, children? Bach-cho... bacho!

Guard yourselves from adopting the dealings and lifestyles - the mu'amulat and muasharat - of the non-Muslims: their clothing and dressing, their form and appearance, their ways of eating and drinking, etc.

Those who have niade zulm on themselves by not bringing iman on Allah Taala, do not make your appearance, your features, like theirs. It should not happen that the punishment that is going to befall them, befalls you!

Accepted that on the basis of iman and believing in Us, We forgive you. However, for a few days, by virtue of the fact that you imitated their ways and modes, and thereby became offenders, We will suspend your entrance into Jannat. Not dismissed permanently. No. Dismissal is for the non-Muslims, the kuffar. But it could happen that you are suspended for a few days when you come in Our Presence, and permission to enter that home from which you had originally come, is not granted as yet.

In our worldly situation, if any noble and respectable person is suspended even for one day, how much shame will he not suffer because of his honour being besmirched.

And just think: one day in the Hereafter is equivalent to a thousand years in this world! This is stated in the Quran shareef.

This is nothing to be amazed about. You must be aware that even here on earth there are certain countries where the sun does not set for six months - that oneday will last six months. So, why be amazed that one day in the Hereafter can equal a thousand years here?

If an offender is given one days punishment in the Hereafter, it will be equivalent to one thousand years here.

However, this offender has not been banished to Jahannam forever. He is not being deprived of Jannat forever. His entrance to Jannat has been suspended for some time.

For this reason that the iman with which you have been sent, you have incorporated in it the appearance of another, a non-Muslim. His religion of shirk and kufr you have not adopted, but you have surely adopted his modes, his styles, his appearance - the features of mutineers and rebels.

Are these not acts bringing displeasure? What type of muhabbat (love) do you profess?

Look at it this way: You have a friend who professes to have muhabbat for you. You also have an enemy. Now, your friend, who professes to have affection for you, deliberately wears the clothes that your enemy wears. Will you be pleased? Will you tolerate it?

No, you will not be pleased, and you will not tolerate your friends action. So, how do you expect Allah Taala to be pleased?
That person, that Muslim, who believes in Me, has adopted the dress of others! Will there not be cause for Him to show displeasure? Definitely He will be displeased.

This persons religion has not changed. However, in his heart which should have expressed Islamic values at the practical level, that amount of change has occurred! Therefore, displeasure!

Coming back to your friend: He says, Brother, I have muhabbat for you.
Your response is, "That I do not deny. But, is this the quality of your muhabbat that you have donned the clothes of my enemy? Just how much displeasure are you not causing me? Just stop to think for a while!

In the same way Allah Taala is saying, 0 Muslim! I have specified for you an Islamic uniform, that, when you leave your home, you be recognised as a Muslim! From top to bottom, you should be identified as a Muslim!
The dread and fear that should have been in you, for Me, you have replaced with fear of My enemies? So much so, that you have changed your dressing and appearance? Is this how much you fear them? Whereas My khauf (fear) should have been greater than everything else!

Yes... Yes... Yes... That much concession I have allowed. How much? When somebody comes to you, for example, a non-Muslim ruler or high-ranking official, then you may adopt those worldly customary civilities and courtesies appropriate to the occasion.
If, instead of a high-ranking official, an ordinary clerk were to come to you, then your hospitality and civility will be tailored to his level. It is apparent that one will take into account the status of the individual when being courteous.
I have granted permission for this. But I have not granted permission for you to change your dressing, form and appearance. My Habib Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) has passed on the message to you:

Show hospitality to people according to their status.

That much permission I have granted. But I have not said that, out of consideration for them, you should copy their dressing, make your facial features and appearance like theirs.
Do you understand?
To be courteous is actually a manifestation of Islamic good character
In it is also the principle of dafae-zarar - warding off harm.
Therefore, to ward off harm, and to display Islamic good conduct and the dignity of Islam, be courteous towards them.

"This much I have not forbidden you.
But why have you changed your appearance?
Why are you dressing like them?
Why do you eat in the manner they do?
They are in the habit of standing and urinating. You have also started doing
They have adopted the habit of roaming from one food-laden table to another,
strolling and eating, standing and eating. You too have started aping them and
have started eating in this fashion.
What answer do you have?
An excellent course of studies you have undertaken!

So, you have not been barred completely from Jannat. Jannat, from whence you originally came, you will still attain. But, not as yet! No, not as yet!

We were saying: In Islam, an elevated level of good character in a person is the
To take upon oneself such a burden which one is capable of bearing, with that
thought in mind of bringing ease and comfort to the next person.

Islam tells us to adopt selflessness (ithar).

An example:
One person sitting here has a cold. However, the room is hot and stuffy, and the room is full. On the one hand, putting on the fans will relieve the stuffiness, but, on the other hand, this person may start sneezing and his nose may start running. His attitude should be: I will tolerate the discomfort. Put on the fans for the benefit of the others.

This is what Islam teaches. One should tolerate that takleef (difficulty and inconvenience) that is within ones capacity, out of consideration for others.

What a lofty and noble teaching! This is such a lofty taleem that, 0 Muslim, there is absolutely no question of you deliberately causing harm and difficulty to others!

We are not speaking of that situation where the other person thinks, without any basis, that he has been caused takleef by you. When this conclusion is merely imaginary, then you are not culpable.

From your side, you should have taken the necessary care and vigilance (ihtimam) to see that no takleef comes to the next person.

The word to note here is "ihtimam, meaning effort/ arrangement/ administration/ care/ vigilance. The root word, when analyzed further, denotes "removing grief and difficulty.

From ihtimam is derived the word "muhtamim (administrator/ manager/ principal).

One does not know who from amongst you will become a muhtamim. Nevertheless you are, at least, muhtamims in your homes.

Ihtimam, therefore, denotes that the muhtamim saheb should take on takleef on himself in order to bring ease and comfort (rahat) to others.

So, 0 Muslim! Take the necessary care and vigilance, that neither from my speech, nor from my actions, will others be harmed or placed into difficulties. There is absolutely no question of causing takleef to others deliberately. On the contrary, one has to take the necessary care and vigilance, with the correct concern (fikr), that whenever one has to speak to anybody, one should think: It should not happen that my statements should hurt the feelings of others. Think and ponder before you speak. This is what Islam teaches. Before speaking, think as follows: I wish to say something. The words, the phrases, the sentences that I am about to use, if the next person were to address me using those very words, would I be grieved? Would I feel hurt or not?

This is the crucial point one has to identify. If one concludes that those very words, if directed at you, would hurt you, then why should you direct them at others?
This is the taleem of Islam. This is a basic principle and rule.

By living according to this rule, by observing this principle, both in ones home and outside, will there be peace (aman) or will there be anarchy (bid-amani)? It is obvious that there will be peace.


For this reason, take all the ahlullah - those who are really ahlullah - meaning those of the household of Allah Taala...

Let us pause for a moment.

Ahl: This means "members of a family.
Ahlia: This word is derived from the word above, and means the one in the
house, i.e. the wife.
Able-beit: This word signifies the members of the household.
Ahlullah: These are those of the household of Allah Taala.

It is accepted that if the head of the household holds a high status, his children will be treated respectfully as well.

For example:
The son of the Collector-saheb comes to visit somebody who does not know him. That person who knows who the visitor is, will whisper into the ear of the host, in subdued tones, The Collector-sahebs son is here! He has come to visit you! The host is made aware of the status of the visitor beforehand, to make sure that the host does not inadvertently say or do anything which may offend the visitor, and the son then takes the complaint to his father, the Collector-saheb, whose annoyance would be catastrophic.
The host will, therefore, be very cautious, because the visitor is ahle-Collector-saheb.

Similarly with those who are the ahl of Allah Taala, the ahlullah. That is, if one comes to know that the person is an ahlullah.

And how would one come to know who is an ahlullah?
From the following:
Whatever orders or commands Allah Taala has issued, he carries them out, and whatever deeds Allah Taala has forbidden, he abstains from them, whether they are related to akhlaq (character), or to muamulat (transactions), or to ibadat (worship) or to muasharat (social lifestyle).
This person will be of the ahlullah. These are the features by which the ahlullah are recognised. This is the uniform by which they are identified. Do not expect the word ahlullah to be written in big letters on their foreheads!

To expand further:
The ahlullah carry out those orders which Allah Taala has commanded to be
carried out. They are not satisfied at merely carrying out orders which pertain to what is fardh and wajib only, but also carry out those injunctions which fall in the categories of sunnat, of mustahab, and also of azeemat, as much as opportunity and health allows.

That person who performs what is fardh and wajib, but leaves out what is sunnat, how can he be an ahlullah?

If this person loves Allah Taala, and this muhabbat is the motivating force behind his obedience to the orders of Allah Taala, then what type of muhabbat does this person have for Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) that he is not obedient to him also?

Whenever you see him, his lungi or the legs of his pants are covering his ankles. What type of ahlullah is this that, though he is wearing the correct uniform, its detail and design are incorrect? What type of uniform is this?
The ankles should not be covered. The lungi or the legs of the pants should end above the ankles.

To cover the ankles, to allow the legs of the pants to hang below the ankles is HARAAM! The namaz is not qabul - not accepted!

You now know the masalah. The importance of attaining ilm (knowledge of Deen) cannot be over emphasised.

All types of topics are discussed in a majlis. Just as ones practical akhlaqi life is tailored and refined, so too ilmi qanuni masael (laws of the shariat) are brought to your attention at the same time, because, basically, one has to act according to these laws and masael of the shariat.

You will be questioned:
Fair enough - you wore a kurta and pants. But why were your ankles covered? What answer have you got? Is this the way an ahlullah behaves? And even while performing namaz your ankles remained covered! If your namaz is not qabul, how can the namaz of the musallees be qabul?
Such a person is not of the ahlullah. No, he is not of the household of Allah Taala!

A person belonging to a household is one who tries to follow the ways of that person who is the acknowledged elder. By bringing on the elders displeasure,
by discarding his ways, how can he be called a member of the ahle-beit? So too with the ahlullah.
Do you understand?

Take the question of eating:
Yes, you ate your food using your right hand, and you drank liquids using
your right hand. Eating and drinking with the left hand are not permissible - it
is na-jaez.

Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) has said that eating and drinking with the left hand is the work of Shaitan.

Eating and drinking are acts of ibadat, and fall in the category of ones muasharati lifestyle, that one should eat and drink using ones right hand. Even this aspect of ones living has been taught to us by Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam).

However, you must have witnessed the following situation:
A person is sitting and drinking tea, using his right hand, which is correct. He
now takes a biscuit, using his left hand, and while he drinks his tea using the
right hand, he eats the biscuit using his left hand.
This Muslim is acting contrary to the laws of Islam.

Not to say bismillah and to eat and drink is the work of the kuffar and mushrikeen. You will just sit down and eat without reciting bismillah? No. Recite bismillah when eating. By not reciting bismillah Shaitan becomes a partner in ones meals.

The following has appeared in the Hadith shareef:
Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) was sitting down to a meal. Some other Sahaba (R.A.) were also with him.
One other Sahabi (R.A.) arrived. Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) invited him to eat as well. This Sahabi (R.A.) sat down in some haste and started eating without reciting bismillah.
Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) kept silent.
Whilst he was eating the Sahabi (K.A.) suddenly remembered that Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) had said that whenever one forgets to recite
"bismillah in the beginning, one should recite bismillah as soon as one remembers, by reciting:

In the name of Allah at the start and at the end.
The Sahabi (R.A.) quickly recited bismillah.
On hearing this Rasiilullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) laughed audibly.

Only on two, or, at most, three occasions has it been recorded that Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) laughed audibly. Mostly, Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) merely smiled.

To laugh raucously - loudly and uninhibitedly - is forbidden. This type of laughter causes deadening of the heart.

Laughing in abundance (raucously) causes deadening of the heart. Hadith shareef

The Sahaba (R.A.) were puzzled by Rasulullahs (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) laughing. 0 Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam). There was no apparent reason for you to laugh at this moment. What caused you to laugh?
Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) replied, This person came, sat down and started eating. He did not recite bismillah, so Shaitan joined him in eating the food. When he remembered, he immediately recited bismillah. The moment he did this Shaitan vomited what he had eaten!

Do you see the difference between reciting bismillah when commencing to eat, and not reciting bismillah?

Others could not see, but Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) saw Shaitan eating with the Sahabi (R.A.), and subsequently vomiting.

In order to understand this, take the following situation:
(Some people find it difficult to understand certain concepts, so it becomes
necessary to illustrate these concepts. This becomes difficult at times and fatigues the mind.)

If a person is possessed by a jinn, others, even though they may be standing next to this person, are unable to see the jinn. However, the person possessed by the jinn is able to see the jinn.

Similarly, there were certain occurrences which Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) witnessed but not anybody else. Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) then informed the Sahaba (R.A.). And whatever Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) conveyed to the Sahaba (R.A.) is haq (the truth).

So, for the Muslim, on every occasion, the taleem of Islam is a means of
elevation to a special level of dignity and nobility (shan).
By discarding these teachings and opting for the manners and ways of others
one is discarding this special dignity and nobility (shan).
Discarding this shan, this lofty status, is an insult, which, in turn, is bringing
disgrace on oneself by ones own hands.
We ourselves have given others an opportunity to laugh and mock at us by us
deliberately discarding our lofty status.
Why point fingers at others?

Eating is also part of the Islamic muasharati lifestyle. It is also one of the distinguishing aspects of Islam - it is an Islamic uniform!
Your manner of eating is different, and the manner of eating of others is different.
So, ones uniform is not only ones apparel and features, but ones manner of eating also forms part of ones uniform.

Do you understand, little ones? Bach-cho... bacho!
Save yourselves from adopting the lifestyles and manners - the uniform - of others.

Take a utensil like the iota (spouted jug), which is made of copper. Non-Muslims also possess these iotas, and they also make use of them. The iotas of non-Muslims have no tin-plating, whereas your (Muslims) iota should be plated with tin. Islam teaches that there should be a difference even in the appearance of copper utensils which are in common use by Muslims and
non-Muslims, and which have the same name, such as the Iota. This does not apply to utensils made of other material.

Be assured that this is not a case of ta'assub." Taassub means that one stubbornly refuses to accept the haq (truth).
This is different: This is to remain steadfast on haq - to set aside the use of those items which will bring about a difference in haq. If, by adopting the methods and practices of others (i.e. non-Muslims), a change occurs in our true and proper practices, then Islam says that these practices should be discarded. Otherwise, by being connected to their practices, etc., it should not happen that items of their shirk also infiltrate into you!

If today you have adopted an indifferent attitude to the iota, then tomorrow you will not bother about your mode of dressing.
And when you have become careless about your dressing, and started adopting their modes, then the next day you will not bother about your features.
And when you go about in this fashion, going around unconcerned about your facial features, then do not be surprised that your heart, which was initially pure of shirk, is also now contaminated with items of shirk!

Do you understand this gradual, step-by-step process of erosion?

So, why have you, in the first place, presented your finger to Shaitan to grasp? Why have you given your enemy the opportunity to grab hold of your finger? Merely presenting your finger to Shaitan has certain implications. Shaitan bubbles with joy, Aha! Aha! His tabiyet (temperament) is inclining towards me! Shaitan gently caresses the finger. My work is done! My task is accomplished!" And he goes forth. Before you know what is happening, he has taken full control. This is so, especially in this age, where such situations are openly in evidence.

Take this practical example:
A person approaches you. He may be a Muslim. He may be an acquaintance. He may be somebody closer, an actual friend.
Looking very despondent, he pleads, My very dear brother! Ive got myself into a jam! I got into debt and I had to sell my house. You do have an empty spare room. Please be kind enough to let me have the use of that room.

You take pity on him, and you let him have the room.

Time passes.
You enquire, You said that you will be searching for other accommodation.
What is happening?
Yes, I am searching, but I havent found anything yet, he replies.

Four months pass by. Then six. Soon, a year has passed. Now you order him to vacate, but he stubbornly refuses. He will not leave.

Not only that, but he is one step ahead. He has been to the authorities and filed some false papers, claiming ownership of the whole house!

A court case is now pending.
However, before the case comes up, he approaches you and makes an offer, Let us compromise. You give me twenty thousand rupees, and I will withdraw my claim.

Have such incidents not occurred? They have. They have been brought to my notice. You may have heard of them also.

(Several people in the majliskhana affirm this to be so.J

So, you can see what type of Muslim he turned out to be. You can see the quality of his Islam.

You took pity on him. You tried to be magnanimous to him in his hour of need. You provided him with a room - you extended a finger to him to hold on to. But he turned out to be Shaitans brother! He tried to grab the whole house! Why did you extend your finger to the enemy to grasp? How did you allow yourself to be duped into thinking that he was a loyal friend? Why did you fall for his sweet talk?

There was poison mixed with his sweetness! There was enmity hidden under the cloak of his friendship!

Similarly, by extending a finger for Shaitan to grasp, slowly, steadily, he has now taken full control!

When you left home to go to the bazaar or to some neighbourhood, and there was a female (or a young lad) present, very pretty and becoming, why did you lift your gaze to look at her?

If your glance did fall on her inadvertently, why did you not lower your gaze immediately'

Had you not fixed your gaze on her, your heart would not have become infatuated; and you would not have pined for her; and you would not have lost your' honour; and you would not have squandered all your wealth; and you would not have suffered disgrace in the eyes of people!
All these misfortunes are nothing but a result of your looking at her! Do you understand the above example and the sequence of events?

Allah Taala had already stated long before, that you should not look at a ghair-mahram. The cause of these misfortunes coming to you is your looking at her, that you then laid down your whole life and future at her feet.

Just why did you extend your finger? Just why did you lift your gaze and look at her? Why did you not realise, beforehand, the folly of lifting your gaze to stare at her? Just why did you allow Shaitan to get to you?

But, one hears it said very often, Allah-Mia has given us eyes to look with. What is the harm in looking?

Enmeshed in Shaitans web!
The harm, dear brother, is that you will destroy your entire life!

Take gambling. You see people sitting and gambling on the pavements. A youngster goes there to stand and watch. He is just watching, mind you. He is not gambling. His father passes by, sees him standing there, gives him a hard slap and pulls him away.

Was the youngster gambling? No, he was merely standing and watching. Yet, he was given a hard slap by his father. Because today he is standing and watching, and tomorrow he will be sitting with them, and the next day he will be gambling like them!

So, stop him before the rot sets in!

Should the police arrive on the scene, they will pounce on all those present at the scene, those sitting as well as those standing. All will be considered to be guilty of being accomplices in the act.

Do you understand these examples?

Not extending ones finger to Shaitan is not an act of taassub (opposing the haq). On the contrary, it is a situation of safeguarding ones heart from being affected by the smoke of shirk, to save it from matters of kufr.

T'herefore, the iota in your house should be such that it is not an imitation of the iota in their house. Today it is the iota. Tomorrow it will be your dressing; and the day after it will be your features and appearance; and then it will be your heart, which will slowly, slowly slowly incline towards them.

What harm is there? What harm? This is the harm just outlined!

Allah Taala has given you direction:

Just see that you do not incline towards any such items of theirs...
Note that the operative word used here means to incline/ to bend towards.

The word amal (to act), has not been used. Do not let your temperament incline in that direction. It has not been stated that you should not act that way, because, once there is an inclination, then action will surely follow!
So, do not incline. This inclination is the preamble to being involved in activities like theirs.

Remember: As Mumins, you will not remain in Jahannam forever. On the other hand, it will not happen that you will be allowed to enter Jannat straightaway! Your entry will be suspended.

Because of your bad actions you will be prevented, for a time, from entering Jannat, which is your original home from which you had been sent. Because of your opposition at the practical level to Allah Taalas commands, at this same level there has been placed an obstacle to your entrance into Jannat for a while. For such there will be punishment for a few days.

Do you understand?

To continue:
We were speaking of the ahlullah - the members of the household of Allah Taala.

They know what, in the house of Allah Taala, is for eating, and what is not for eating. Being members of the household they are aware of this. What is not for eating, they will abstain from.

Take this example:
A mouse in the house drove a certain person crazy. At times the mouse would nibble at roti; at times it would gnaw the clothes; at times his wallet was dragged away; and so forth. The mouse drove him frantic.

This person then went to buy some strychnine (a rodent poison used in the old days) from the market, and he mixed it with some roti to poison the mouse. This he then placed in the house for the mouse to eat. So, there is now strychnine in the house as well.

Will the members of the household now eat the strychnine? Of course not. The members of the household will eat what is meant to be eaten, and what is not meant to be eaten, they will leave alone!

So, too, the ahlullah, the members of the household of Allah Taala. They will eat what is meant to be eaten - that is, they will act on what has been commanded; and what is not meant to be "eaten they will abstain from - that is, they will refrain from those actions and deeds which are forbidden.
They are the ahlullah!

Their hallmark is: Always, continuously and assi'duously acting according to the orders of Allah Taala. That is, to carrying out what has been ordered, and abstaining from what has been forbidden, both with regard to external deeds (zahiri amal) as well as internal deeds (batini amal).

Take alcohol. It is haraam to drink alcohol. This is of the zahiri amal.
Now take a batini (inner) quality: Takabbur (arrogance). This is not a physical
substance to eat or drink. Yet, takabbur is something that the nafs feeds on!
Just as alcohol is haraam, so too is takabbur haraam.
Just as alcohol is to be avoided, so too is takabbur to be avoided.
The former intoxicates the body; the latter intoxicates the nafs (ego).

If a person has left off alcohol, but he has not left off takabbur, he is not of the ahlullah!

Another example:
A person performs namaz, but he does so to obtain self-satisfaction.
Upon somebody speaking harshly to him, his anger flares up, and he is ready
to start a fight.
This person is not of the ahlullah!
These examples are placed before you with the taufeeq of Allah Taala.

These are not real ahlullah. Yes, there is no doubt that they are Mumin. As for being ahlullah...? Yes... Well... A teeni-weeni bit, a teeni-weeni bit. But real and proper ahlullah? Not at all. However, conceded, a teeni-weni bit.

Another example:
A father tell his son not to eat a certain food, because it will cause stomach cramps. He will not die, but he will suffer from stomach-ache.
The child does not listen, and eats what has been forbidden to him. As a result the child becomes ill, even though he does not die.
Similarly with iman: involvement in prohibited acts causes a definite weakness to come into ones iman, even though ones iman does not slip away.
So, why did you take on such things that bring about a feebleness in your iman? It is a mere iota, but what type of iota is it? It is merely food, but what sort of member of the household is he that eats what is forbidden to him?

A person with iman is an allahwala because of his iman. But the question is: What type of allahwala is he? The answer: He is still green and immature!

The real allahwala is firm in all his actions. All those items that have to be discarded, external and internal, he discards. Just as he has left off alcohol, so he has left off takabbur as well!
As for deeds to be performed, he carries out what is fardh and wajib, and, in addition, he is punctual with his sunnats as well, because these are also the household items for the ahlullah.

Not like one who performs what is fardh and wajib, and omits what is sunnat!

Furthermore, this Mumin Muslim, having the necessary health, without placing himself into hardship, ensuring that there is no interference in his necessary obligations, and where there is ease, carries out what is mustahab as well. He does not leave out what is nafl.

This person is at an elevated level of being a Mumin, of being deendar. He is of the high grade of the ahlullah.

Take the example of matriculants:
Among the passes are those who pass with first-class passes, those who pass with second-class passes, and those who pass with third-class passes. When it comes to entrance into university, those with first-class passes will have no difficulties. But those with third-class passes? They will surely struggle to get in, despite having passed.

Similarly, a person may be a Mumin - he has iman - but he falls in the category of third-class passes. He has passed.

However, on that Day it will be clear whether he has difficulty getting into Jannat or not.

Just like the matriculant with a third-class pass has a struggle to get into university, so this Mumin also will have a struggle to get into Jannat.
Some are granted entrance at once - the first-class passes. Others are told to wait: "There are problems with your credentials!.

These present-day examples are being used to make the little ones understand. Let us take the example a little bit further:

Possibly somebody may make a representation on your behalf. It does happen. Somebody puts in a good word, clearing the way for the student to gain entrance to the university, even though he has only a third-class pass.

So, too, those in the third-class are told to wait, while others are allowed entrance into Jannat immediately. Now, a surprising thing happens: some of those who have gained entrance immediately, are stopped!
Oh! Oh! What is this?

Allah Taala will say, "You are not such as to enter alone. Take others as well -you are being granted permission to intercede for others! For whomsoever you intercede they will gain entrance into Jannat with you!

The ulema, those who are of the household of Allah Taala, the elite, are addressed by Allah Taala, delightedly, with great muhabbat, Ma-shaallah! Ma-shaallah! Accepted! Accepted! as they intercede for others.

Yes, those very ulema, those ahlullah, about whom you used to say some very horrible things, today they are of use to you! Even some of those from amongst the third-class passes are gaining immediate entrance!

In the Hadith shareef it has been stated:

Cleanliness and good character are among the stages of Iman

Nazafat: Cleanliness / purity - Full and complete purity, zahiri (external) as well as batini (internal).
Husne-khulq: Good character, as defined by the shariat and not as understood by custom.

Customary good character is the following:
When a visitor arrives, to be courteous to him, Please do come in. Do sit
down and make yourself comfortable. Here, have a cup of tea.
This is showing a good character according to social custom. It is not shari
internal good character.

Shari good character has to do with internal qualities connected to the heart. Shari bad character, on the other hand, denotes bad qualities emanating from the nafs.

So, husne khulq means a good character that manifests good qualities which emanate from the heart and which does not manifest bad qualities emanating from the nafs.

One quality found in a good character is, for example, hilm, also called burdabari (forbearance).

To illustrate this quality:
Somebody has made a very nasty remark, so much so that it has struck one deeply in the heart. The heart is grieved. It finds the remark most burdensome. But one shows no reaction. It is as if having heard and not having heard are the same. Consequently, one does not say anything.

This is called hilm in Arabic, and burdabari in Farsee, meaning to lift/ bear a burden. The burden placed on the heart is being lifted or borne. Somebody has hurled abuse at one. Ones heart has found it burdensome, but ones reaction is that of indifference.

This is just one quality found in the heart of a person with husne khulq.

Amongst the qualities that Allah Taala has, one is that of Him being Haleem - One Who has Hilm.
So, this earthly Muslim has taken on this quality of hilm, and is also haleem. Why has he taken on this quality of Allah Taalas? Because he is of the ahlullah!

Let us take zulm. Zulm is: to wrongfully usurp somebody elses rights; to wrongfully seize somebody elses rights and to place a burden on his heart; to taunt and chastise others; to take away somebodys goods and wealth and thereby chastise him.

This zulm is contrary to the concept of the nazafat (purity) of Zate Bari Taala. Zulm is a defective quality, and Zate Bari Taala is free of defects. Zate Bari Taala is Nazeef (Pure):

Allah Taala is Pure and He loves purity.

Part and parcel of nazafat is the quality of hilm. Zate Bari Taala is Haleem. He is Sahebe-hilm (Perfect in the quality of hilm).
So, the Mumin should also take on this quality of hilm, and become sahebe-hilm.

On the other side we have zulm. Zate Bari Taala is clean and pure of zulm.
The Mumin, likewise, should become clean and pure of zulm.
And if the Mumin is not clean and pure of zulm, what then?
Well... Then, fine... He may be a Mumin, but still very green (kach-cha)! He
may be an ahlullah, but still very green!

Do you understand my way of speaking?

Fruit that is still green, unripe, is very bitter, very sour. Ripe fruit is sweet and delicious.

The ahlullah who are ripe are sweet and delicious. They have neither sourness nor bitterness, nor are they half-and-half, half sweet and half bitter. They do not do things that are sweet and then do things which are bitter. Yes, very occasionally, incidentally, they may be involved in doing something which is wrong. This does not negate them being of the ahlullah.

But to be involved in activities that are contrary to the concept of an ahlullah every now and then, time and again, and to be speaking such things which are contrary to the concept of an ahlullah, how can he be said to be of the ahlullah? Yes... Well... He is a Muslim.

Those of you who are studying obviously wish to pass with a first-class pass, and not a third-class pass. Similarly, in ones iman and ones Deen also, the desire should be to be in the group of first-class passes.

A true desire (tamanna) is associated with resolve (iradah), and resolve goes together with correct effort. If the correct effort is not there, it shows that the resolve is incorrect. This person is thus deceiving himself and others!

There are individuals here from England and from South Africa. So, these discourses are lessons being given. Slowly, steadily, with examples and illustrations, with careful explanations, an effort is being made for the lessons to settle firmly in your hearts, so that an understanding may dawn within you.

This methodology is essential for an ustad or a lecturer to adopt. Whatever is written in the kitabs has to be explained and expanded on, by using simple examples and illustrations, so that it becomes easy for the students to understand. This is a manifestation of the affection the ustad has for his students. This is his favour on them.

He is taking on a burden on himself in order to bring benefit to others, to bring ease and comfort to their hearts.
To bring ease and comfort can be in several forms: One is to bring ease and comfort physically. Another is to bring ease and comfort and cheer to the heart.

To continue:
Just as it is necessary to leave off zahiri prohibitions, so, too, it is necessary to leave off batini prohibitions.

This person performs his namaz, but he has not eliminated the sickness of the eyes! What is this? The following: The moment something pretty and beautiful, something gorgeous passes by in front of him, his eyes latch onto it. Imagine! He is actually busy looking at it! Whereas it is impermissible that one should gaze at what is prohibited.

Why is he looking at these distractions?

The answer is simple: There is still some deficiency in him. There are still some shortcomings in his being a kamil ahlullah, a kamil allahwala. He is still green - kachchapin!

This is the yardstick he should judge himself on. Whenever such an event occurs he should immediately reproach himself, Oh! Oh! I have fallen into error. I should not have done that! I had thought that I had reached perfection, but it appears that there is still some deficiency in my iman. There is still no perfection in my Deen. I have still not reached top grade. I am still kachchapin!

What would first grade be?
First grade would be where he would have immediately dropped his gaze the moment his eyes fell on the distraction.
Second grade is where he notices the distraction, and his temperament is tempted to gaze at it, and he lifts his eyes to look, but he then quickly drops his gaze again.
Third grade is where he follows his inclination unchecked, and his eyes latch onto the distraction, and he keeps on looking all the time, still unchecked.

Here is another situation:
His eyes fall on the distraction. His temperament urges him to keep on looking, which he does. Suddenly he realises his error. What am I doing? He is ashamed. His heart feels contrite. He is remorseful. He is grieved at his lapse. Ive done wrong! Ya Allah! What have I done! He cries inside himself. Astigfirullah! Astigfirullah! I have done wrong! I have done wrong!

This taubah - this grief, this remorse at having done wrong - is a compensation for his lapse.

He had dropped to grade three, but this taubah has raised him to the first grade!

He has been given an opportunity. This opportunity is not granted to everybody: it is granted only where the person shows the necessary aptitude, and has had a temporary lapse. Does this situation not arise when students have to write examinations?

This leeway is given because of his showing remorse. Instead of being in the third grade, he has been re-established in the first grade.

He has regained the position of entering Jannat at the first instance. This is because of his taubah, which has removed the obstacles in his way. Entrance has been made easy.

Had he not made taubah, had he not been remorseful, he would have remained in the third grade, with no possibility of being given an opportunity to gain the first grade.

Do you understand these examples?

It is accepted that disobedience to Allah Taala, going against His commands, is a great evil.

However, a greater evil than this is to refuse to make taubah!
Why so? Because there is a very real danger that this persons iman will slip away!

There is security of ones iman in being ashamed of ones wrongdoings, in being remorseful. The result will be that, stage by stage, each time trying to save oneself, trying to avoid the wrong, one will reach that point where one stops oneself completely from that wrongdoing. Now one is no longer involved in that wrongdoing.

Going back:
We had started off by saying that, in order to bring zahiri and batini comfort and ease to others, to bring happiness to others, to bring cheer to others, a person takes on himself such tasks and burdens, such difficulties, which are not beyond his tolerance. He says, It does not matter that I am inconvenienced, as long as he has some ease. I will tolerate the inconvenience.

For example:
There is only one roti in the house. There is absolutely nothing else to eat. I am also hungry, and a hungry beggar also appears at that same moment. (One is aware that this person is genuine, and that he is not a beggar by profession.) I am hungry. For the sake of Allah Taala, may I please have a piece of roti? he asks:

How many rotis are there? Only one. If I eat the roti, my hunger will be relieved. If he eats it, his hunger will be relieved. However, my hunger is not such that, if I do not eat that roti, I will die. I know from past experience that I can manage to stay hungry till the next meal. I have kept fasts. I have kept fasts on long, hot days even. Even on those occasions when I did not manage to eat sehri, I still fasted the whole day. No harm came to me. I did not collapse from weakness. I can manage to miss out on one roti.
So, the roti goes to the beggar! Here, you take it.

Yes, if the hunger is beyond ones capacity to bear, and one may die from hunger, then the situation is different.

If I do not eat that roti, and I will die, then saving my own life takes priority.

You have rights on your life first. To save your own life is fardh. So, you will not give away that roti. Why should you give him the roti and you die of hunger? Yes, come another time, and if I have I will give.

Take another situation:
You and somebody else are in such a predicament that both of you are in the
extremes of thirst. Without water both of you will not survive. You have in
your possession just a little water, sufficient for only one person to take a gulp
and survive.
If you give him this water, he will survive and you will die.
If you drink the water, you will survive and he will die.
In this situation drink the water yourself: It is fardh for you to save your own

Do you now understand the masalah concerning selflessness?
Selflessness means: to give priority to the comfort of others over ones own comfort.
Another word one may use is "qurbani (sacrifice). In other words, to place oneself in takleef (inconvenience/ trouble) in order to bring comfort to others, is to make qurbani (sacrifice).

This is Islam! Weighed in the balance!
With adl (justice) is fadhl (bounty/ mercy). If you have acted with adl (justice),

then mashaallah, that is being kamil (accomplished). You are dealing justly with everybody.

But remember, there are occasions for fadhl (bounty/ mercy) as well.

Never, at any time, make dua to Allah Taala that He should treat you with adl, for then you are asking to be destroyed!

On the contrary, always make dua for fadhl and karam (mercy and generosity).

And this being so, that you should always be making dua for Allah Taalas fadhl and karam, then you should also bring these qualities of Allah Taala into yourself.

Take your wife. She should be treated with fadhl and karam. Do not treat her with mere adl.

Should she be treated with zulm? Perish the thought! Of course, there is absolutely no question of treating her with zulm!

The least, the very bare minimum, is that she be treated with adl. This is the absolute barest minimum. Actually she should be treated, as stated, with fadhl and karam.


The reason is that we are facing a special difficulty here.
Allah Taala has combined us with somebody who is naturally very teri (bent).
From her initial creation Allah Taala has placed in her this quality of being
very teri (bent).

When Hadhrat Adam (alayhis salam) was created in Jannat, he was all by himself. However, human nature is such that it yearns for company. Hadhrat Adam (alayhis salam) thought, How nice would it not be if there was somebody else with me too!

Jannat is a place where a mere thought becomes a wish fulfilled! In the wink of an eye, from a rib on his left side, a female appeared. Allah Taala had fulfilled his wish.

She was created from the left side, from the contrary side, as opposed to the right side. This is the first cause of her being teri.
Secondly, she was created from a rib. Now, is a rib straight or bent (teri)? We all know that a rib is bent.

What is the quality of this kink in the rib?
Let me explain: Take a piece of iron that is also bent. No matter how bent it is, it can be straightened by softening it in fire and then beating it straight.
Try the same method in attempting to straighten the rib, you will not succeed! Fine. Use another method. Take castor oil. It has a lubricating and macerating effect. Leave the rib in castor oil, even for countless years, to soften it, and then beat it straight. You will still not succeed.
The rib will not straighten out. Instead, it will break.

So, we know that a rib is so teri, so teri, that no matter what we do, it is just not possible to straighten it out!

So, the male has been attached to a partner with these qualities! Therefore, do not be surprised if her speech and her statements are completely teri as well -irrational, illogical, vexing and insolent! Who are we speaking about? Specifically, the wife! (Not women in general.)

As for women in general... They will ensnare any unsuspecting male! Just see how they posh themselves up when they leave their homes. Be warned! Very teri they are by nature, created from a rib that is bent.
Yes, be warned! If you are not careful, and you do not pass by quickly with lowered gaze, you may well land up as the next victim!

. Yet, see how foolish they are, too.
When at home they are very unmindful of their dressing. But the moment they
have to go out somewhere... Oh oho! Like some heavenly hur she emerges! By
applying some make-up, a touch of red here, and a touch of white there, and by
wearing glittering and fancy clothes, she has imagined herself to be a heavenly
hur, when, in actual fact, she is everything but one! Just remove all that red and
white colouring and you will see her actual self.

This is an exemplification of Dunya.
Hadhrat Esa (alayhis salam) was once going somewhere. Looking behind him,
he saw a woman walking along, attractively, gorgeously and glitteringly dressed. He decided to investigate.

As he drew nearer he saw that she was actually an old hag, with a most hideous face!

Hadhrat Esa (A.S.) said, You rascal (trying to deceive people)! Do you really
imagine that people will be enamoured of you?
She replied, Oho! The whole world is enraptured by me!
Hadhrat Esa (A.S.) said, Then, have you been faithful to your admirers?
She replied scornfully, Me? Show loyalty! I have killed all my past admirers!
Hadhrat Esa (A.S.) said, Who are you, then?
She replied, I am Dunya!

Dunya had been disclosed to Hadhrat Esa (A.S.) in the form of this old hag.

We were speaking about wives. By nature they are teri (bent).

Also, Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) has said: See, do not hound your wife in an effort to straighten her. She will not straighten. Instead she will break.

That is, you will end up wanting to give her talaq (divorcing her).

This is one difficulty that I referred to, namely that she is teri (bent).

The other difficulty concerns her aql (intelligence). There is a deficiency in the aql of women. Should they do anything intelligent, it is an exception, an incidental occurrence. By nature the intelligence of women is deficient. Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) has stated,

You women are deficient in intelligence. Hadith shareef.

Mind you, women are hushyar (clever), but they are not intelligent. Their cleverness is so astute as to snatch away the intelligence (aql) of the most intelligent people!

Should I add something more..? Yes? You want me to? Then listen!

Oho! There is a saying in Urdu:

The crafty crow eats faeces.

The crow is a very crafty bird, very clever. If a crow is sitting on a fence, and you bend down, it immediately flies away - it has anticipated your picking up a stone to hurl at it. See just how clever it is! However, despite this cleverness it eats faeces!

We can deduce, therefore, an inverse relationship between intelligence and cleverness: the greater the cunning, scheming and craftiness, the less the intelligence. And vice versa: the greater the intelligence (aql), the less craftiness there is, or there is a complete absence of craftiness.

Women, therefore, being nuqsane aql (deficient in intelligence), will be proportionately very hushyar (clever).

In the same way, if any male has this quality of craftiness, he too will have a deficiency in his intellect (aql).

So, Allah Taala has attached to this male a female, created with such a nature. This female being his wife.

Therefore, in your home if your wife makes such teri teri statements, such absurd statements, that place a burden on your temperament, what cause is there for you to show anger? Why be amazed? You knew from beforehand! So, why did you get married?

You already knew beforehand what type of disposition a woman has. You wished to be attached to her, make a home with her, knowing that by nature she was going to make such statements. Therefore, it is expected that you would have come prepared - prepared with the qualities of hilm, of burdabari (forbearance), able to bear the burden of her statements.

She being such, therefore there is no cause for feeling grieved, no cause for having takleef, no cause for being amazed. The question then follows: What cause is there for anger? Therefore, no anger (ghussah)!

Do you understand?
This is the manner in which the quality of hilm and burdabari of Allah Taala should come into this insan mumin.

The ahlullah show this shan - the real ahlullah, the members of the household of Allah Taala, show this nobility and dignity - that whatever statements are uttered by the wife, they tolerate them. Make no mistake, the wife will utter such such things that are beyond ones imagination!

Are you married? No?
All the more reason for you to listen very attentively! It is a good thing that
these matters are being discussed. Insha-allah taala, you will make a good

Firstly, look carefully before you get married. Find out about the family and the girls background. Find out about her manners and character.

Do not look just at the eyes, whether she has big, beautiful eyes or not! How will you know whether her heart is big or small? I am pointing this out because youngsters look merely at the face: What are her eyes like? What is her complexion like? But completely unconcerned about what her inside is like!
Habits will remain forever, but youthful colour and complexion will not remain forever. Just see what happens after she has borne a few children, or after an illness lasting some months - that youthful face quickly fades away. As for habits? They remain forever.

I am pointing out these matters to the youngsters because this is an age full of fitnah.
In Europe, England, Africa and other countries the boy and girl insist on seeing each other first. This is not so here. The special shan of this province (U.P) is that the parents arrange the marriage. But this is changing even here. People from outside are coming to stay here. Also, girls are now being given an education. The result is that they have become more teri! By receiving western education girls have become more bent! Now they are even more teri!

Take karela. It is a very bitter vegetable. You now cross it with neem, another bitter plant. The result will be that now you will have karela that are even more bitter!

So too, the female. She is bitter by nature, and now that she is educated,
this crossing has made her more bitter!
To cope with her now is even more difficult!

I insist on going on a holiday, she is adamant. You and I are incompatible, molvi saheb. Why are you keeping me here in a prison?

Mind you, she now calls pardah a prison!
Come to think of it, is it not better to confine some people to a prison or to an asylum, rather than letting them out?
Women are best kept in the house, rather than let out, or else they will get wings and fly away! Once they set their feet outside, you will not get them back!

The European style is for the boy and girl to see one another before getting married. I want to see first! is what is insisted on.
Idiot, what are you going to see? Oh, very well, very well, if you insist.
Arrangements are made to go and have a cup of tea. The girl is handed the tray to serve the guests, so that the boy has an opportunity to see her. For a few fleeting seconds his eyes fall on her before she disappears again.
What has he seen in those few seconds? He has had no time to note the colour of her eyes, or the shape of her nose, or her complexion. Yes, he has some vague perception that she appears to be pretty. What an achievement!

So, on the third day of the marriage, he has given her talaq!

If he had made nikah to her, satisfied at seeing her, why the talaq?
The reason is that he had merely seen her countenance and not her habits. After marriage he is now face to face with her habits. Appearance (surat) is a passing thing, behaviour and character (seerat) are for always.

These comments are made incidentally.
We were discussing the wife. If she makes teri statements, if she speaks insolently, if she says things contrary to ones temperament, there is no cause for surprise. And if there is no cause for amazement, then there is no cause for grief. And if there is no cause for grief, then there is no cause for ghussah (anger)! Then, insha-allah taala, there will be life-long compatibility, because you will remind yourself all the time, Allah Taala has created her such for our islah, from the rib of the left side, teri!.
Therefore, the real ahlullah show a tremendous degree of hilm and burdabari towards such wives. The question of talaq does not arise.

Have you heard of a person by the name of Hadhrat Umar Farouq (R.A.)? He was some nonentity, somebody insignificant? NO! He was somebody imposing, with a personality that was intimidating! So much so, that it comes in the Hadith shareef that Rasulullah (sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said,
"0 Umar! Whenever you are passing by, Shaitan runs away from you!

Bearing this in mind, listen carefully now, so that this qissah can come in use at the appropriate time, without you having to search around for solutions.

Ameerul-mumineen Hadhrat Umar Farouq (R.A.) used to patrol the city of Medinah some nights, in order to keep himself informed of the conditions of his fellow Muslims, both as far as their Deeni needs were concerned, as well as their dunyawi (worldly) needs.

One day, his wife enquired, Just where do you go to in the evenings?
Hadhrat Umar Farouq (R.A.) replied calmly, You are aware that, from Allah Taalas side, I have been made Ameerul-mumineen. I have the responsibility of looking after the safety and protection of the community, to its Deeni and dunyawi needs and necessities.
His wife retorted, All lies! What you have just said is a pack of lies!

Ask yourself: is this not enough to enrage anybody?
But this was not just anybody. Hadhrat Umar Farouq (R.A.) was one of those noble souls who were given the glad tidings in this world of being granted Jannat! Is it even remotely possible for such a person to tell lies? Yet, here is his wife openly accusing him of telling lies!

Still very calm, Hadhrat Umar Farouq (R.A.) asked, In what way am I lying?
His wife spoke accusingly, In this way: Yes, no doubt, you are going on your inspection tours, but you are deliberately going to those neighbourhoods where reside pretty young lasses, to feast your eyes on them!

Again, is this not a further, a second occasion for anger?
What did the allahwala Hadhrat Umar Farouq (R.A.) reply to this?
He said, This is only a figment of your imagination. Allah Taala knows very

Who spoke so mildly? Hadhrat Umar Farouq (R.A.), a person whose whip everyone feared! Yet, towards his wife he showed tremendous forbearance (burdabari).

Her harsh statements, firstly calling him a liar, and then slandering him, he bore gracefully, brushing them off by saying that it was a figment of her imagination and that Allah Taala knew very well.

Are you listening? Do you understand what it means to be an ahlullah? Do you understand what it means to be a kamil deendar Muslim? 0 ye salikoon! 0 ye talibane islah! 0 ye who have left your homes with a desire and a quest for islah! Understand well what islah is, how you should mould yourself, how you should live, how you should bring a change in your previous lifestyle to another mode, by continuously placing burdens on your tabiyet (temperament) - this being the purpose of your journey here!

0 ye talibane islah! 0 ye talibane tazkiyah! You should change the state of your nafs, haul it over from the left to the right!

Understand very well what an ahlullah is. Do not harbour the misconception that having performed your namaz and thats it, you are now a complete ahlullah!

Making namaz is no exceptional feat - like we partake of meals, so we offer namaz. What is so great about that? The real task, the heavier task, is to control your nafs, twenty-four hours of the day, inside and outside the house, and on top of it, in your relationship with your wife - that is an achievement! May Allah Taala protect us!
So, to what degree must the nafs not be killed! Complete annihilation of the nafs! The nafs has to be brought under complete control! This is a greater task!

It requires a great deal of wisdom to look after and nurture ones wife. It requires tremendous foresightedness, tact and insight. One has to chose the appropriate time to correct her, explaining to her with very carefully chosen words, using loving terms, in a pleasant and nice manner, in affectionate tones. From time to time read to her the kitabs of our buzurgs, so that a change may come into her.
This is the method. Do not react with ghussah upon ghussah. If you do, what then is the difference between the female and you, the male?

You should have utilised a well thought-out strategy to bring about a change in her. And changes do take place!

If it is possible that your islah can be made, cannot her islah be made as well? Definitely so!

You have heard of Rabiah-al-Basriah (R.A.)?
She was a woman. She became a mureedni of Hasan-al-Basri (R.A.) and took guidance from him. Just see what elevated stages she reached!

Yes, it is possible for her, a female, to reach the levels of the great ahlullah, even though, once in a while, once in a year, or once every two years, she may show some teri behaviour.

You may have attended a circus performance, where different animals - tigers, elephants, wolves, deer and goats - are put through their different acts.
In my young days, when I was still at school in Aligarh, I once attended such a circus performance.

After each animal has performed individually, in the grand finale, all the animals are gathered together. Tables and stools are placed in the middle, food is laid out separately for each animal, and then each animal goes and sits on its stool, and eats the food laid out for it.

The amazing thing about this whole scene is that the tiger does not bother about the wolf next to it; the wolf does not bother about the goat next to it; and so forth. Each animal is busy with its own allocated task. Just see how insan, by utilising a process of continuous teaching and training, has brought about such changes in these animals as to get them to behave contrary to their natural, instinctive, animal temperaments!
So, why not that insan who is female? Once the talab (desire/ thirst) comes into her, by a process of teaching and training, why can she not change? Why should the teri-ness not change? Why can she also not attain the heights of the ahlullah? Why can her habits not change?

Of course, provided that there is somebody prepared to take on this task! This person himself must first be prepared to take on a burden.
And if a female can change, and can turn from evil towards good, turn from sin to piety, is there any conceivable reason why such a change cannot come into a male?

This will happen, provided that, firstly, that the talab (desire/ thirst) is present, and, secondly, the person does not act on his own opinions and initiatives (apna zehen nah chalawe).

Look: the circus tiger and wolf did not act on their own opinions and initiatives, but submitted passively to the instructions of the trainer.

Similarly, the mureed should not act on his own opinions and initiatives, but should subjugate these to those of the sheikh.

Ponder again: if a females islah can be made, why should a males islah not be made? How can this be?
If it is so, and no islah is taking place, then it shows that there is no talab! His niyyet (intention) in coming to lie around here is corrupt!

When a talibe-sadiq has come here, and he observes the huququllah and the huququl-ibad, there is no question of not reforming!

When animals like the tiger and the wolf can be made to understand, and can be reformed, then why not this male insan?

We were saying, concerning the wife: Not immediately she does something teri, but at some other appropriate time, judging her mood, at night, explain very nicely to her. Read some kitabs to her. Do this from time to time, but do not wage a crusade against her.

Then you will see, insha-allah taala, the rib that was bent (teri) becoming somewhat straightened as far as her habits are concerned.

From the qissah of Hadhrat Umar Farouq (R.A.) do you understand what it means to be an ahlullah, what it takes to be deendare-kamil?
This is achieved not merely by making namaz and then going to sleep. Despite his wifes most teri remarks, despite her most harsh words, he remained unflustered. He was burdabar!

That qissah concerned a Sahabi (R.A.), Hadhrat Umar Farouq (R.A.). Here follows another qissah.

You must have heard of Imam Abu Hanifah (R.A.). Whether you follow Imam Abu Hanifah (R.A.) or Imam Shafi (R.A.), or any of the other Imams, they were all ahlullah. They were all buzurgs.

There are several qissas concerning Imam Abu Hanifah (R.A.). This is but one: Imam-saheb - i.e. Imam Abu Hanifah (R.A.) - was returning home after having given his lessons. Along the way he encountered somebody who had great
animosity towards him. (The ahlullah also have enemies, whose animosity has no basis whatsoever, but people develop hasad /jealousy), etc. for them.)

This person started following Imam-saheb, hurling a tirade of abuse at him. Many were the harsh and offensive words uttered by him, but Imam-saheb kept on walking. When Imam-saheb came to the door of, his house, he stopped and turned to address this person, This is the door to my house. I will not go in as yet. I will stand here and wait. Whatever you still wish to tell me, tell me. Because, were I to go in, whatever you still desire to say, good or bad, will still remain in your heart. So, I am placing myself here at your disposal - without hesitation, you may say whatever you wish, quite openly. Your heart should feel happy!

However, this person kept quiet. Now, when he was given the opportunity to continue his tirade, he kept silent. He then went away.

Yes! Making the heart of ones adversary happy! This is what is meant to be an ahlullah!

Nowadays, what do we see?
Just let anybody say a word out of place to him, and he starts a fight. Just see
how good a Muslim is he! Yes... Say he is a Muslim. But what type of
This happens day and night.
Let a room-mate say something, an argument follows, then foul language, and
then a fight. Thats it! An end to the friendship.

The purpose of having come here is to bring about a change, so that your condition on your return should be an improvement on what it was previously. Your behaviour towards your mates should show an improvement, so that they may also comment in admiration, Oho! Where has he been? He was not like this before! Just look at what he has learnt and what he has brought back with him! This is being an alim! Mubarak!

You are now making tableegh by the pattern of your behaviour.

Imam-saheb. Another qissah about him:
It was one afternoon. At this latter period of Imam-sahebs life his body had
become somewhat heavy, causing him some difficulty in moving around. Also,
his house was situated on high ground, with a fair number of steps to climb to reach the entrance.

This particular afternoon Imam-saheb had just climbed up the steps and entered his house, and had just sat down on the charpai with the intention of lying down to rest, when somebody called out to him from the bottom of the steps:
I wish to ask you some masalah. Please come down.
Imam-saheb came down and asked, What is the masalah that you wish to know?
The person replied, Ofo! Just as you had reached the last two or three steps I forgot!
Imam-saheb said, It is of no consequence. When you remember, you may ask, and Imam-saheb went back up the stairs.

Just as Imam-saheb was about to lie down to rest, this person called out again, Ive remembered! Come down.
Imam-saheb climbed down again. This time, too, it was the same story: The person said, I had remembered, but just as you reached the last step, I forgot!

Sometimes it was the last step that Imam-saheb had reached, sometimes it was the third or fourth last step, but everytime it was the same story, that he had remembered but had forgotten again!
In this way he made Imam-saheb climb up and down six or seven times! Then finally, when Imam-saheb had climbed down and enquired, What is the masalah? this person replied, Yes! Yes! Now I remember!
Imam-saheb said, Go ahead and ask.
The person asked, What is the taste of faeces?
Let us pause for a moment. Did you hear? He wanted to know what faeces tasted like! Is this a masalah? Is this a question to put to anybody? How much trouble and inconvenience did he not put Imam-saheb to, to ask this?

However, with an even temperament (mustaqil mizaj), with steadfastness (istiqamat), with a firm stance (thabite-qadam), Imam-saheb responded very calmly, It depends. What type of faeces are you enquiring about - the taste of fresh faeces, or the taste of stale faeces?
The person said, Well... Both! Tell me the taste of fresh faeces and stale faeces.
Imam-saheb answered, "The taste of fresh faeces is sweet, whereas the taste of stale faeces is bitter.

(Listen carefully now!)
The person said, What, did you taste each of them?
Imam-saheb replied, There is no necessity for one to taste each in order to determine these qualities. There are some signs and indications which will equally lead us to this conclusion. I have noticed that flies tend to settle on freshly-passed faeces. Flies are attracted by sweetness. So, one can conclude that freshly-passed faeces taste sweet. Flies do not settle on stale faeces. Bitterness repels flies. So, again, one can conclude that stale faeces are bitter!

The person said, What you have stated is absolutely correct! Imam-saheb, in turn, asked him, Why do you say so?
The person explained, I knew the answers beforehand!
He explained further, We were a few people sitting together, having a discussion, and the question came up: In this present age, who is that person who is a sahebe-hilm?

We have explained previously what hilm is. These people wanted to know who is the most accomplished in the quality of hilm, of selflessness, of giving qurbani, of undergoing personal inconvenience for the sake of others.

It was our unanimous opinion that it was Imam Abu Hanifah. I came specifically to put you to the test, so that I could see for myself whether our unanimous opinion was correct or not!
Do you now understand what is kamale-deendari, kamale-darjah-imani? We had quoted just now:

Cleanliness and good character are among the stages of Iman.

It is apparent that iman also has different levels, wherein is included husne khulq (good character).

You have heard in todays majlis about husne khulq, and the elevated stage it enjoys - husne khulq has a very high status when it comes to iman.
Nazafat has not been fully explained, but husne khulq has been explained in some detail, with illustrating qissas.
Iman, as we had mentioned, has different grades: third, second and first.
It is basic that one always tries for the highest level, the first grade, in our worldly affairs.
So, when it comes to levels of iman, why not attempt to attain the highest grade, the first grade? Iman is fundamental! It comes first! Here, why do you sit back content with second and third grades?
To re-iterate:
Iman has different levels. Husne khulq has an important role, a high status, in ones iman. You have heard what the definition of husne khulq is, and you have heard qissas illustrating some aspects of husne khulq.
Ahlullah - members of the household of Allah Taala! Husne khulq is compulsory in the ahlullah! An important quality constituting husne khulq is hilm. Selflessness (ithar), qurbani, to give preference to others, have all been explained.
May Allah Taala grant all of us - all Muslims in general, and the talibane ilm and the talibane tazkiyahe-nafs specifically - with increasing ikhlas, the taufeeq to attain the highest levels of iman, thereby decorating and embellishing us all by means of husne khulq; and also the taufeeq to continually make dua for taufeeq.
Khuda hafez.